Wedding Night Intimacy

Bride on a bed strewn with rose petals

Intimacy on your wedding night will be different from any intimacy you shared before you were married. It will be your first time together as a married couple and this can create anxiety for some newly weds. A few helpful tips will steer you away from any awkwardness so your wedding night is romantic and exciting.

Your First Time As Husband and Wife

Surveys show that a majority of couples have been sexually intimate before their wedding night. If this is the case for your and your soon to be spouse, that doesn't mean that your wedding night needs to have the same familiar intimacy that you have become accustomed to in your relationship. While it may not be the first time you have been together, it will be the first time you're intimate as a married couple, and that is a special experience for any couple.

To make this special night even more memorable…

  • Try experimenting with something new, especially if it has been something you've been interested to try already.
  • Consider abstaining from sex for several days or weeks prior to the wedding to make your wedding night seem like it is new again.
  • Reenact a favorite fantasy or relive a great time you've been together in the past, such as the first time you were intimate with one another.
  • Opt for something extra special, such as naughty lingerie, fun couple's intimacy games, or other unique options to make the wedding night memorable.

Newly Intimate Newlyweds

If you've never been sexually intimate with your spouse before, your wedding night is the time to introduce one another to what you like and what you want in a bed partner. Taking the time to be slow, gentle, and caring on this night will lay a tender foundation for healthy, fulfilling sexuality in your marriage. Instead of trying something new or unusual, take pleasure in discovering one another in new and loving ways.

Don't be afraid to share what you do and don't like, or to ask what your partner prefers. Dishonesty on your wedding night can lead to bruised feelings and dissatisfaction for many years. Communication is one of the keys to a healthy, strong marriage, particularly in the bedroom.

Two glasses of Champagne and a rose

Tips for Wedding Night Intimacy

To make the most of a romantic, intimate wedding night…

  • Take Your Time: You may have been rushed with wedding planning, but take your time to discover one another on your wedding night. Be gentle, sincere, and caring in bed and you'll make your partnership even stronger. Take the time to share a bubble bath or massage to be sure you're both in the mood.
  • Be Beautiful: Find some luxurious lingerie that you feel beautiful and confident in. Whether you prefer a demure peignoir set or a sexy push up corset, if you look great you'll feel great.
  • Set the Scene: Add scattered rose petals, subtle scented candles, and soft music to your wedding night accommodations for a romantic and loving atmosphere.
  • Upgrade the Hotel: If you plan on staying in a hotel for your wedding night, opt for a high class Jacuzzi suite or the honeymoon suite. If you aren't able to take a honeymoon, consider at least this one night in a honeymoon suite or a local bed and breakfast.
  • Protect Your Privacy: Be sure that you won't be interrupted on your wedding night by turning off cell phones, putting out the Do Not Disturb sign, and taking the room's phone off the hook if necessary.
  • Share a Toast: Reserve a bottle of wine or champagne from your wedding reception to share a private toast to your newlywed-ness. If you're nervous about where the night might lead, the champagne can also help relax you and your spouse.

Above all, never force your partner to try anything they are not comfortable with. Doing so may lead to dissatisfaction and mistrust, but taking it slow and gradually learning new things together can create a loving intimacy you can share throughout your married life.

Intimacy Isn't Always Immediate

What many couples are surprised to discover about wedding night intimacy is that, despite tawdry tales and lewd longings, it doesn't always happen. Your wedding day, while joyful, may be one of the longest and most stressful days of your life. Many couples are too exhausted after weeks of wedding planning, early morning appointments, and late evening receptions to do more than share a kiss goodnight on that special night. Some couples even opt to forgo intimacy on their wedding night in order to take the time for a very special evening - and more than one - during their honeymoon. What is most important to realize is that this first intimate experience as husband and wife should be a loving, sincere, and enjoyable one, not rushed or stressed just to happen on a certain date.

Whether you are looking forward to wedding night intimacy with exhilaration or anxiety, understanding how to be loving with your partner and how to make this night a special one can help you build a strong and healthy sexuality for a loving and fulfilling marriage.

Wedding Night Intimacy