Humorous Readings for Wedding Ceremonies

Giggling bride and smiling groom

Hilarious wedding readings are perfect for this time of joy and celebration. Adding a bit of humor can often bring a personalized element that captures the spirit of the couple. Funny wedding readings provide a little relief to what sometimes is a nerve-wracking situation for the wedding couple. Find and select the right kind of funny readings for weddings to add that special touch to your celebration.

Ideas for Funny Readings

Some funny wedding ceremony readings are used for the reception or rehearsal dinner. Some are longer and some are shorter, but all will leave everyone with a smile, chuckle, or all-out guffaw. Read the snippets here to decide if you want to read the entire piece.

All It Take Is A Teaspoon of Humor

"All it takes is a teaspoon of humor, a tablespoon full of confidence, a scoop of perseverance and a full glass of honesty, love and care."

Read the rest of Rizzi Vicci's funny quote at Love Quotes And Sayings.

Excerpt From When Harry Met Sally

"I love that you get cold when it's 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich."

See the entire passage, and several other notable When Harry Met Sally quotes from Nora Epron, at Vulture.

A Time to Laugh

"1. Laugh when people tell a joke. Otherwise you might make them feel bad.

2. Laugh when you look into a mirror. Otherwise you might feel bad."

To find out at what other times you should be sure to laugh from Sister Joan Chittister, visit The Quest for Everything.

Us Two

"So wherever I am, there's always Pooh, There's always Pooh and Me."

To see the entire reading about Pooh from A.A. Milne, visit All Poetry.

Excerpt From The Princess Bride

"'I love you,' Buttercup said. 'I know this must come as something of a surprise to you, since all I've ever done is scorn you and degrade you and taunt you, but I have loved you for several hours now, and every second, more.'"

To see more from sweet Buttercup to her beloved Westley, written by William Goldman, hurry forth to Goodreads.

Graffiti Moon

"If my like for you was a football crowd, you'd be deaf 'cause of the roar. And if my like for you was a boxer, there'd be a dead guy lying on the floor."

To see how this all works out, according to Cath Crowley, head over to Fabmood.

All I Ever Really Needed to Know I Learned in Kindergarten

"All of what I really need to know about how to live, and what to do, and how to be, I learned in Kindergarten. Wisdom was not at the top of the graduate school mountain, but there in the sandbox at nursery school."

See the entire poem from Robert Fulgham, filled with good advice for living every day at

Calvin and Hobbes Excerpt

"Calvin: What's it like to fall in love?
Hobbes: Well… say the object of your affection walks by…"

See where Calvin and Hobbes, as written by Bill Watterson, are going with their conversation at Married by Josh.

Excerpt From Tuesdays With Morrie

"There are a few rules I know to be true about love and marriage:
If you don't respect the other person, you're gonna have a lot of trouble."

See the rest at of this artful wisdom from Mitch Albom at Todays-Weddings.

How Does That Sound

"Let me put it this way: if you came to lay your sleeping head against my arm or sleeve, and if my arm went dead, or if I had to take my leave at midnight, I should rather cleave it from the joint or seam than make a scene or bring you round. There, how does that sound?"

Find this piece from Simon Armitage, and more, at Vogue Vows Celebrancy.

Mawwiage From The Princess Bride

"Mawwiage. Mawwiage is what bwings us togethew today. Mawwiage, that bwessed awwangement, that dweam within a dweam."

Find the rest of the passage from William Goldman at Quotes for the Journey.

Funny Poems

The use of poetry is a popular way to bring a little humor into the ceremony. Often poems start out like something serious, but will veer off into rather unexpected ways. They make excellent readings for a wedding ceremony. Check out the first couple of lines before you read the whole poem and decide.

Wanna be Yours

"I wanna be your vacuum cleaner
Breathing in your dust"

This poem by John Cooper Clarke is just getting started, but you can find the complete poem at Cyperspike.

He Never Leaves the Seat Up

"He never leaves the seat up
Or wet towels upon the floor"

To see "her" attributes, check out hitched.

To My Valentine

"More than a catbird hates a cat,
Or a criminal hates a clue"

Ogden Nash has more of this poem to share at

Yes, I'll Marry You

"Yes, I'll marry you, my dear,
And here's the reason why"

Visit Pam Ayres site to see the rest how it all works out.

Falling in Love is like Owning a Dog

"First of all, it's a big responsibility,
especially in a city like New York."

There's plenty more to this poem, whether you are a dog lover or not, at Taylor Mali's site.

I Rely on You

"I rely on you
like a Skoda needs suspension"

Check out the other ways on which you can be relied at Hovis Presley Poems.

Your Personal Penguin

"I like you a lot
You're funny and kind"

To find out about the penguins from Sandra Boynton, go to MetroLyrics.


"Marriage is about giving and taking
And forging and forsaking"

Take a peek at Guy and Stacey to read the rest.


"There is a kind of love called maintenance,
Which stores the WD40 and knows when to use it"

The entire poem from U.A. Fanthorpe is happily maintained at Stories Space.

Be My Homer

"Be my Homer
I wanna be your Marge"

For the rest of the giggles by CJ Munn, including references to Herman and Lily Munster, visit WeddingWire.

I'll Be There for You

"I'll be there my darling, through thick and through thin
When your mind's in a mess and your head's in a spin"

And this poem by Louise Cuddon is all there for you at

A Lovely Love Story

"The fierce Dinosaur was trapped inside his cage of ice.
Although it was cold he was happy in there."

Check in on the dinosaur love from Edward Monkton at Amorra Weddings.

I Wanna Grow Old With You

"I wanna make you smile whenever you're sad
Carry you around when your arthritis is bad"

If you're not sure where this is going, head to for all of this toe-tapper from Adam Sandler in The Wedding Singer.

Make the Right Choice

Whether you go with one of the options above or something else, choose a reading that speaks to the both of you and will resonate with those in attendance. If a reading ties directly to a situation, personality trait, or is an illustration of how the two of you are together, then the laughter that results will be heartfelt and ring true.

The piece can be read by an officiate, friends, family, bridal party, even the bride or groom, so it considering who will be reading the material may be equally important as the selected piece. A humorous reading delivered by someone unexpected can be good for some extra giggles and guffaws from the gathering.

Timing Is Everything

Positioning a humorous reading into your ceremony requires some careful thought, consideration, and, most importantly, must be an appropriate reflection of the couple. Typically, humorous passages will be positioned in the early or middle part of the ceremony, as a way to break up the tension before the exchanging of vows. However, some enjoy surprising everyone with a bit of fun, there, too. Find the balance that best reflects what you want to share with all who will be present so you can create a celebration long remembered.

Ceremony-Appropriate Humor

Taste is a very personal matter, and while it is important for the couple to be able to bring aspects of themselves and their personalities into the ceremony, consideration for the guests and location of the nuptials is of equal importance. Use of graphic language, reference to inappropriate situations, derogatory or rude material, and something that is so exclusive that only a few people may understand, will miss the mark of adding some levity that everyone can enjoy.

This is a day meant to be filled with happiness and good memories for everyone. Being thoughtful about the kind of humor being included will elevate the entire experience for all present.

Writing Your Own Humorous Reading

If you have a great funny story to share, consider crafting your own reading. If you have a favorite comedian, even a funny friend, listen to how they share their stories and use it to shape yours. As with any writing, you will need a beginning, middle, and an end, but that doesn't always mean what you write needs to be long. Let it be natural, just like you are telling the story to your friends...because you will be. Some of the best readings are simple and direct, but pack a powerful punch because the content it clear, exciting, and, most importantly, personal.

Knock-Knock, You're There

Finding that funny reading will add a touch of laughter and personalization to your ceremony everyone will remember. With careful thought to the type of humor you want to include and in what form it is to be presented, you will be able to delight one and all with some chortles and snorts as you forge head-long into matrimony, as they say, for better or for laughs.

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Humorous Readings for Wedding Ceremonies