LoveToKnow Weddings:AllComments

From LoveToKnow Weddings

Comments

Sandy - Traditionally, the only names included on the invitation are those of the bride and groom and whomever is hosting the wedding - that is, whoever is paying. Since many couples now pay a large portion, if not all, of their wedding expenses, however, they often put both sets of parents on the invitation as a courtesy, particularly for a formal wedding. The decision is up to the couple ultimately, but it is important to consider how the groom's parents may feel if they're left off the invitation for their son's wedding. Best wishes!

-- Contributed by: Melissa Mayntz

should the grooms parents name be on the invitation, even if they are not contributing financially to the wedding? My daughter and I are in a disagreement about this. I say yes, she says they didnt pay, they dont get their names on the invite.Please help settle this.

-- Contributed by: sandy

Karen - The lists above cover the basics of who pays for what, and the alcohol at the wedding reception is generally covered by the bride's parents as part of the reception expenses/menu. Many couples also pay for much of the expenses themselves, and may limit the types of drinks available to help control a bar bill. A cash bar (where guests pay) is another option, but it is considered poor etiquette to require guests to pay for their own drinks at an event which you've invited them to.

-- Contributed by: Melissa Mayntz

WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE LIQUOR AT THE WEDDING RECEPTION...JUST WONDERING WHAT WHAT GROOMS PARENTS PAY FOR, AND WHAT THE BRIDES PARENTS ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR..

-- Contributed by: KAREN EADES

Anon - Since the wedding announcements are part of the family's social network, modern etiquette would have the groom's family pay for that announcement since it is for his hometown, and the bride and her family aren't familiar with it and don't have any acquaintances there. Most newspaper wedding announcements are inexpensive and it shouldn't be causing too much tension; the bride's family should, however, be sure that the groom's family has all the appropriate information they may need for the announcement, which can be worded differently since it is for a different social group.

-- Contributed by: Melissa Mayntz

The Bride lives in one state and the groom lives in another state? The Bride's parents took care of the announcement in their local newspaper. The grooms parents feels it is also the responsiblity of the Bride's parents to put it int the groom's local newspaper also. Who should pay for this? The Bride's parents or the Groom's parents?

-- Contributed by: anon

Hi Miss M., You are correct that bridesmaids should pay for their own wedding attire. Their lodging costs are also their own responsibility. It is unfortunate that your friend is reacting in this way. You may want to have a kind but honest conversation with her and let her now how her actions have made you feel, and/or discuss with others in the wedding party your financial concerns. While it is perfectly understandable for you to feel frustrated and upset because of her actions, don't let your resentment get the best of you. Remember to focus on the most important thing - that you and your sweetheart are making th most joyous commitment of your lives!

-- Contributed by: Amy Finley

I have a bridesmaid who, when we started looking at dresses, said she did not realize there was a financial commitment for a bridesmaid. This is a woman who is almost 30-years old and who has a Master's degree! Why wouldn't you check an etiquette book or "Google" it before accepting? Or ask more questions? She then refused to pay the $139 for the dress I chose and would only pay the cost of the one she liked which was $100 (mind you - she did not have to buy shoes and my mother is doing her alterations FOR FREE!!) I wound up writing her a check for $40 to cover the difference between what she was willing to pay and what the dress cost. I thought keeping clothing costs for the bridesmaids at less than $150 was not only reasonable but wonderful!! Now I resent this friend who is supposed to be one of the women closest to me and in my wedding party on this very special day. Am I wrong to feel this way? Suggestions? Help!!! I'm scared I'll end up paying for my own wedding shower next!! (I've already been told that formal invitations are a waste of money and they want to use E-vites!! Aack!)

-- Contributed by: Miss M

If a bridesmaid is coming from out-of-town, does she pay for her own hotel? Or is the bride/bride's family responsible for that?

-- Contributed by: Miss M

Lisa - You should not feel obligated to give any financial assistance beyond what you are comfortable doing and what fits well in your budget. If the couple is having trouble meeting the financial needs of their event, you can offer to help them find ways to save money without losing the beauty and elegance, but be firm with how much money you can and can't offer to help with. Your support, welcome, and love are the best gifts of all for their wedding.

-- Contributed by: Melissa Mayntz

my daughter is getting married oct of 2008. her father and i have limited funds the grooms parents are paying for the hall and church i am buying her dress helping maid of honor with shower plans.buying all the flowers and the bubbles , camaras,and buying her 6 attendants thier gifts and hosting the rehersal dinner. the grooms parents are paying for the $100 a plate reception and church. for 160 guest. yet i feel i'm not doing enough?

-- Contributed by: lisa

Ruth - Realistically, you have no financial responsibility for your daughter's wedding. You may wish to offer the couple a check that is within your means to help cover some costs, but don't feel obligated to overspend. They should understand your cir...stances and be touched that you'd want to help in any way, even if you choose to help in non-financial ways, such as helping with the planning or other tasks.

-- Contributed by: Melissa Mayntz

My daughter is 30 years old and is a practicing attorney for the past five (5) years. Her fiance'is 31 years old, and is also a practicing attorney for 5 years. They are planning to get married March 2009, and the wedding is costing approximately $20,000.00.

I work for the Government and make a decent salary, but I am planning to retire January 2009. I am a widow since September 2004.

Please advise me on proper etiquette. What is my financial responsibility for this wedding?

Thank You, Ruth

-- Contributed by: Ruth

Shanna - Traditionally, the attendants do pay for their own attire, and they can pay for any necessary accommodations. It sounds like you definately have their budgets in mind, which I'm sure they appreciate, but you can also stress that they needn't go to the added expense of a wedding gift -- it's more important for you to have them as a part of your celebration, and you don't want them to go to more expense. Best wishes!

-- Contributed by: Melissa Mayntz

Is it improper to have the bridesmaids and groomsmen pay for there own hotel accomidations and also pay for dresses/tux rentals? They will not be paying for a wedding shower at all. Is it to much to ask to have them do that?

-- Contributed by: Shanna
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