LoveToKnow Weddings:AllComments

Comments

Danni - First, you should be aware that if she is really excited about the planning, it could cause a rift in your relationship with your son and his wife if you outright reject her idea. Perhaps there might be a way you could host a similar party that would be easier for you to arrange.

If you do want different ideas, a nice family dinner is a great and low-key alternative. It could be a home-cooked meal or a favorite restaurant. An afternoon picnic is another option that could include the whole family as well as some grilling, so it's a type of combination idea with her original request.

Best wishes!

-- Contributed by: Melissa Mayntz

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I have a similar situation to Mary's with my son's elopement. The "bride's" mother attended their JOP ceremony during my son's military leave, and we learned of it several weeks later. I feel a little hurt by that but I don't want "drama" over this. Recently my new daughter-in-law has asked if my husband and I would host a beer and barbecue bash for them in our yard when my son returns from Iraq in several months. We have the space, but my heart is not in doing this kind of thing at all. My husband would be expected to grill for all the guests. My son would like a get-together but I'm not sure he is aware of how she is envisioning the event. I don't know how to graciously decline this request plus I WOULD like to honor them in a low-key, more intimate way. Any alternatives we could consider?

-- Contributed by: Danni

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Hi Mary, It is great that you are willing to be supportive if your daughter's wishes even if it were not your first choice that she elope. I would discuss with your daughter what she prefers. In a situation like this, however, an informal party or brief announcements to close friends and family is typically more appropriate than a formal reception and sending out announcements as you would to a traditional guest list. I would suggest planning the reception celebration to be held within six weeks of their marriage. Best wishes!

-- Contributed by: Amy Finley

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My daughter is running off to get married. They have known each other less than 6 weeks. Instead of being non-supportive, I have opted to be open to their wishes and step back and allow them their time. I have known about the JOP ceremony, however, they have not told the grooms family. I live in Charlotte, NC - the "kids" will be out at Ft. Bragg. Most of my family is in Ohio and the grooms family is in Ohio. I have been asked to not be at the ceremony - which is fine. My question is this - is a reception appropriate? if so how soon after the wedding should that take place? If there is no reception, is it appropriate to at least send out a wedding announcement or "welcome to the family" "our family is growing again" announcement? If an announcement is alright - how many people should be told (as many as would have been invited if it were normal, or scale it back to immediate family only?) With the family being so spread out and the couple needing to head back to the military base so soon there isn't much time for anything normal or formal. Do you have any suggestions? Thank You - Mary G

-- Contributed by: Mary.
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