Wedding Guest Etiquette

From LoveToKnow Weddings

How much do you know about wedding guest etiquette?

Guests should always be polite.

Everyone loves a wedding. There's something about being there to share in the Happy Couple's special day that puts everyone in attendance in a joyful mood. Sometimes, it's not enough to show up at a wedding however, sometimes one needs to know how to be a good guest. If you're not sure to behave, perhaps this short primer on wedding guest etiquette will help.

Respond in a Timely Manner

When you receive your invitation, there will be an "RSVP" date imprinted on the bottom. RSVP is French for repondez s'il vous plait, or quite simply "please respond." The reason you're given a deadline is so that the Happy Couple can finalize thier plans with the caterer and other professionals. She'll also need to know how many favors to set out and how much liquor to order.

While it's considered very bad manners to respond after RSVP date, it's even worse to show up at the wedding after having not replied at all. This will be a major inconvenience for the Happy Couple who is not prepared to receive your as a guest. All of the guests have had their meals and other amenities paid for in advance. Since you will have to be accommodated at the last minute, the Happy Couple will have to pay in cash before they leave the reception.

Wedding Guest Etiquette

If, when you receive your invitation, the words "and guest" appear written next to your name on the envelope, you can feel free to invite a date to escort you to the wedding. If there is no such indication on the envelope do not assume it's alright to do so. Because the Happy Couple has to pay by the head, they might not be able to afford to invite extra people. The only time it is assumed a significant other is invited is if one is married, engaged, or living with another party. If the words "and guest" don't appear on your envelope, expect to attend this event alone.

It's also considered poor wedding guest etiquette to call the bride or groom to ask if you can bring a guest.

Be Considerate

Don't carry on a conversation with the person next to you while you are seated in church or crack jokes with the person across the pew. Be considerate of the Happy Couple and all others in attendance.

Gifts

While it's not necessary to bring gifts to the wedding, a wedding present for the Happy Couple is indeed required. Whether it's a monetary gift or something purchased from a registry, you have up to a year from the wedding date to see the bride and groom receive it. Many wedding guests choose to give monetary gifts to the Happy Couple on the day of the wedding; others choose to send gifts ahead of time or very soon after the wedding. Either way is fine as long as you give a gift. If you won't be attending the wedding, it's still customary to send a gift.

Behave Yourself

Even though the open bar is tempting, try not to behave in a manner that is embarrassing to the Happy Couple and other guests. If you can't be counted on to hold your liquor, perhaps you should stay away from the bar area. No one enjoys being around a drunken wedding guest. By over indulging, you not only embarrass other in attendance, you embarrass yourself.

A wedding should be enjoyable for all involved. By behaving properly, you're showing the bride and groom the respect they deserve.

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Comments

John - It is never required to send a wedding gift other than for a bridal shower that you attend (which is clearly not the case here). If you aren't familiar with the couple but still want to send some acknowledgement, a nice card is a fine gesture for that level of relationship. Don't feel pressured to send or give more than you feel comfortable with. If you are attending the wedding, a small gift would work well, but if you're not, just a card is perfectly acceptable.

-- Contributed by: Melissa Mayntz

Is it required to send a wedding gift when receiving an invitation, when not knowing the couple getting married, other than a relative of a relative, not closely related? Thank you

-- Contributed by: John Williams

Cheryl - This is a touchy situation, to be sure. Most couples just let it go, assuming the guest did not send a gift, rather than cause potential embarrassment or bad feelings if perhaps the guest could not afford a gift or if they've been delayed in sending one. While invited guests who attend the festivities should send a gift, it may seem like a couple is being greedy or expecting payment to ask about one, unless it is phrased very delicately. A parent might inquire discreetly, for example, but take care that no one is offended by doing so.

-- Contributed by: Melissa Mayntz

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