Wedding Engagement Party

From LoveToKnow Weddings

In some circles, a wedding engagement party is considered a traditional part of the wedding festivities. In others, it’s not necessary but the happy couple would like to collectively share the good news with their friends. If this is something you'd like to explore, read on for some wedding engagement party tips.

Is a Wedding Engagement Party for You?

That depends. Who will be paying for this party? If it’s something your parents want to do, you may wish to indulge them. Keep in mind, the cost of the wedding engagement party may take money out of the wedding budget. If you’re hoping for an elaborate affair, a Hawaiian honeymoon, or more money saved for a down payment on a house, you may wish to reconsider. If money is no object, or if you can keep costs down, by all means, have a wedding engagement party.

Who Should Be Invited?

This is where your wedding engagement ettiquette comes in. While you probably want to share the joyous news with everyone you know as soon as you have an engagement ring on your finger, in reality you only want to invite those who will be attending the actual wedding. It’s very bad manners to invite people to the wedding engagement party only. As a rule, the wedding engagement party should include family and close friends.

It has been written that if you’re having a very small, intimate wedding, one with just a few family members in attendance, it’s ok to invite as many people as you want to the wedding engagement party. You’ll have to decide what’s best in the situation. When it comes to weddings and all the galas and festivities, there will always be hurt feelings.

Should it be a Surprise?

Perhaps you want to wait until the night of the wedding engagement party to share your good news. This is perfectly acceptable. The reason for the party can be a surprise or you can include the reason for the affair on the invitation.

Gifts

Proper etiquette does not require one to bring a when attending a wedding engagement party. Most guests will probably do so, however. If you’re having a party to share your good news and you feel gifts aren’t necessary, you can either indicate “no gifts” on the invitation or keep the reason for the party a secret.

Where Should it Be Held?

There are no rules here either. It can be a moonlight dinner in the bride-to-be’s parent’s back yard, or a catered fair at a banquet hall. It all depends on who is throwing the party and that person’s budget.

The party can be as formal or casual as you like. Some choose a black tie affair while others prefer a low-key barbecue with the guests wearing shorts and sandals. It depends on the tastes of the betrothed. If you’d like to share the joy of your wedding engagement with your loved ones, there’s no reason why you shouldn’t have a wedding engagement party. What better way to kick off the festivities than a gala attended by special friends and family?

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Comments

Ann - It's unfortunate that some people will "ask" for a favor when they expect a particular answer. Hopefully you expressed your reasons tactfully and your decision (which you made perfectly well) won't cause a permanent rift in your relationship with your sister.

-- Contributed by: Melissa Mayntz

When planning a party, be careful what favors you ask of family members. I was asked by my sister, the mother of the groom, if an engagement party could be held at my house which is near his apartment. My sister lives across the country, won't be able to attend the party and she wants me to help him out. Due to a temporary work assignment that has taken me far from my home, I have rented my house to another family member. Since I can't attend the party nor monitor the festivities, I told her "no". The bride, groom and their friends are younger than 25 and I worry they won't drink responsibly. I've never met the friends, the bride or her family. I recommended a restaurant but she wouldn't listen. My sister expressed how disappointed she was with my decision. I wish she had never asked.

-- Contributed by: Ann Sherman

Robin - The best course of action is to send a congratulatory note wishing them well as they prepare for their wedding, and to offer your support and welcome for them as a couple.

-- Contributed by: Melissa Mayntz

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