Rehearsal Dinner Toast Speech

Traditional Etiquette

Traditionally, the groom's family covers the financial burden of the rehearsal dinner. For this reason, the father of the groom gets the distinguished role of giving the welcoming speech as well as the first toast of the evening.

With more and more couples funding their own rehearsal dinners – or not adhering to traditional rehearsal dinner etiquette – it isn't uncommon for the task of making a rehearsal dinner toast speech to fall onto someone else's shoulders. People asked to deliver the main toast at a rehearsal dinner may include:

• Father of the Bride
• Mother of the Bride
• Mother of the Groom
• Best Man
• Maid or Matron of Honor
• A Groomsman
• A Bridesmaid
• Other cherished friend or relative not in the wedding ceremony

There is no limit to the number of speeches that can be made, so couples can decide who they want to make speeches and in what order. Of course, if the groom's family does actually pay for the rehearsal dinner then the father and mother of the groom should have a say in who speaks and in what order, and everyone should bear in mind the patience of the dinner guests and avoid scheduling too many speeches.

Delivering a Rehearsal Dinner Toast Speech

You should never assume that you will be asked to deliver a toast at a rehearsal dinner unless you are specifically asked to by the bride or groom. Remember that wedding etiquette varies widely nowadays, and so you should not presume to have the responsibility of giving a speech even if you have a key role in the wedding ceremony.

If you're unsure, simply ask the bride or groom for clarification. It is also prudent to prepare a short toast just in case you are asked to give an impromptu speech.

Writing the Toast

Brevity is key when writing a rehearsal dinner toast. Remember that the toast – by definition – is supposed to incite everyone to raise their glasses and toast the couple. For this reason, you should be sure to write something that celebrates the couple's love for each other.

If you have never written a toast before, keep these simple guidelines in mind:

• Start with who you are. Unless you are familiar with everyone in attendance you will want to make sure they know who you are. This speech isn't about you, so don't turn it into a résumé or personal biography. A simple introductory statement of "I'm Bob, the best man, and I've known Tim for ten years," is suitable.

To the happy couple!

• Inject a personal experience. If you have a favorite memory of the couple, use it in your toast. A good example would be something along the lines of, "I'll never forget when we all went camping together because even though the tent blew away they were still laughing and having a great time."
• Turn the story into an analogy of the couple's love. Use the personal story to demonstrate why the marriage is a great idea. For example, "Much like the windy conditions of the campsite, life is not always full of sunny days. These two will be great together because they can still laugh when the wind is blowing and the tent is gone."
• Raise your glass for the toast. Raising your glass prompts everyone else to raise their glasses. At this point you give a simple statement celebrating the couple. Try something along the lines of, "Join me in a toast to two people who couldn't be more perfect for each other. To the bride and groom!" Raise your glass higher and drink.

Be sure to personalize the toast. A hollow toast copied from a book or website will see forced and will not have the effect that a well thought out speech will have.

Giving a rehearsal dinner toast speech doesn’t have to be chore. With a few simple guidelines, anyone asked to raise their glass to the happy couple can offer eloquent congratulations and support for their union.