Personal Wedding Vows

Why Choose Personal Vows?

Today’s brides and grooms delight in having highly personalized, unique celebrations rather than predictable events. Choosing to use personal wedding vows is one way that couples can customize their ceremony with minimal fuss while at the same time using their own words to accurately describe their feelings toward one another on this most special day.

Before a couple opts for personal vows, however, they need to be sure they both agree on the vows. If either the bride or groom has dreamt of traditional wedding vows as a sacred litany, choosing personal vows instead will lose that time-honored sentiment. It is possible, however, to blend both traditional vows and personalized words together for romantic, loving promises.

Writing Personal Wedding Vows

Couples can find inspiration for their personal vows in a number of places, such as:

• Looking through photographs from their relationship
• Listening to favorite romantic songs
• Browsing online ideas for romantic wedding vows
• Asking friends and family members for their best descriptions of the soon-to-be spouse
• Reading love poetry
• Remembering tender anecdotes from their courtship
• Including personal nicknames and loving endearments
• Incorporating other significant people into the vows, such as children or parents
• Personalizing the vows with career, hobby, or personality quirks

Classic Elements

Wherever a couple may find inspiration for their personal wedding vows, it is also important to be true to the classic elements of marital promises. Though funny wedding vows, jokes, and long-winded stories may be amusing, the vows should be sure to touch on each of these classic sentiments:

• Enduring love, even through hardships
• Friendship and partnership
• Faith and belief in one another as well as in the vows that are being spoken

By ensuring that these classic elements are part of customized vows, couples can inject their personal touches while still honoring the timeless love and romance of the wedding ceremony.

Warnings

Wedding vows are never a speech to be made off the cuff. To ensure that the vows are appropriate for the ceremony, heed these warnings:

• Time: One set of vows should be no longer than two or three minutes. Longer speeches – no matter how well written – have much greater risks of interruptions or of being forgotten, and wedding guests may grow restless if the vows take a very long time.
• Approval: In religious venues, the presiding officiant may need to approve the vows before they are used to ensure they are appropriate for the faith and setting. Couples should be prepared to give their officiant a copy of their vows several days before the ceremony to allow time for changes if necessary.
• Privacy: Even the most personal vows should not be too personal. Avoid mentioning very private, intimate anecdotes or complicated stories that may not be understood by the wedding guests, and keep those sentiments for a romantic moment the couple can share alone.

Practicing Your Vows

Once you have written your personal vows and had them approved as necessary, it is critical to practice them. Some officiants may be willing to read vows for you, but other couples prefer to recite them from memory. Even if you have memorized them perfectly, however, write a few notes and reminders on a card to give to the officiant just in case. While practicing, speak clearly and confidently to convey the proper tone of voice – for some couples, it may help to practice in front of the best man or maid of honor, or while looking at a picture of their soon-to-be spouse.

Despite the best practice and preparation, however, it is possible that when faced with the moment in front of dozens or hundreds of guests, the words you’ve so carefully prepared will be lost to a nervously blank mind. If that happens, do not despair – speak from the heart and you can create the most personal, romantic vows you will ever speak.

Happily Ever After

Vow Alternatives

For some faiths and in some circumstances, personal vows are not permitted. In this case, the couple can choose several alternatives for sharing their loving sentiments, such as:

• Writing them in a card to be given to their beloved before the ceremony
• Using the personal vows as a toast at either the rehearsal dinner or the reception
• Writing the personal vows down and sharing it during a quiet moment after the wedding
• Giving the vows to the new spouse during the honeymoon
• Writing the vows on a dated piece of paper or card and sharing them on the first anniversary

Personal wedding vows add an intimate, romantic touch to a wedding ceremony in a way that only the bride and groom can. Carefully chosen loving words will be more powerful and memorable than any formulaic recitation, and those personal sentiments can be carried through many years as they are renewed with every loving gesture, phrase, and touch.