Marriage Advice

1: Don't Give Up Dating

Your spouse, that is. Once they get married, many couples become consumed by the daily necessities of work, housekeeping, raising children, and other obligations. Marriage and relationship experts universally agree that one of the best ways to stay connected to your spouse and maintain a good relationship is to set aside uninterrupted time together. Try to work time into your schedule each week to reconnect with your spouse. You don't have to necessarily go anywhere -- it's just as good to spend time talking, relaxing, or having a quiet dinner at home together.

2: Keep the Lines of Communications Open

Another important piece of marriage advice is to talk regularly with your spouse about issues that you are concerned about. Harboring anger or other emotions at unresolved issues can lead to festering resentment that will undoubtedly eat away at your relationship.

When talking to your spouse, avoid placing blame -- this only puts the other person on the defense and often doesn't resolve anything. Instead, try to talk to your husband or wife without shouting, and state your feelings without attacking him or her.

3: Get to Know Your Spouse

Although it is much easier said than done to really know your spouse, try to pay attention to things that irritate him or her. Sometimes little things can add fire to other issues. If your partner is consistently bothered by you leaving your dirty socks on the bedroom floor, make an effort to remember putting them in the laundry hamper. You don't have to be at your spouse's beckoned call, just treat one another courteously.

4: Money Matters

Money is one of the biggest subjects that married couples argue about. Whether you have two incomes or one, whether you handle the money jointly or one person takes care of the majority of the bills, it's important to communicate with one another regarding your finances.

Establishing a simple budget, establishing what are necessary household and personal expenses, and living within your means can all help alleviate the financial stress that can lead to arguments in marriage. It's a good idea to review your financial situation yearly -- or more frequently if something changes -- to keep one another aware of your monetary obligations.

5: Dealing With In-Laws

Even if you don't get along perfectly with your in-laws, it's important to remember that they are an important part of your spouse's life. Try to be courteous and civil at family functions. Making time for both sets of in-laws and other family and major holidays, or alternating holidays between in-laws can be helpful.

6: Compliment One Another

It's easy to take your spouse for granted in the day-to-day hustle. Take time daily to compliment your spouse and make him or her feel special. Leave a note in his or her briefcase, call on your lunchbreak, send a quick e-mail telling you partner you're thinking about him or her. Have the radio on your spouse's favorite station when he or she gets home, or do a household task you know your partner dislikes. These little things can really add up to create a loving marriage.

7: Marriage is More Than a Feeling

Many couples go into a marriage expecting it to be their happily-ever-after. Romanticized Hollywood versions of marriage have little to do with the difficulties of real marriages. You may not feel madly in love with your spouse all the time, but that doesn't mean you don't love one another. Try to recognize that you will face ups and downs in your marriage that you can usually overcome.

8: When to Seek Professional Marriage Advice

Sometimes couples can't resolve issues on their own. Seeking professional marriage advice can often save a troubled marriage. Marriage or couples counseling, attending marriage workshops or conferences, meeting with clergy -- all these can be extremely helpful. If you find yourself angry or resentful at your spouse or you are unable to resolve issues after multiple attempts, it may be time to seek professional marriage advice.

For more, help, visit:

• The National Healthy marriage Resource Center
• Marriage Growthtrac
• National Institute of Marriage
• Center for Marriage and Families
• Equal Justice Foundation Abuse Prevention

Related Links

• Wedding Traditions
• Marriage Poems
• Prenuptial Agreement
• Wedding Insurance
• Calling Off the Wedding